A Quiet Moment ~ 008

The Weight Others Add

There were times during my caregiving years

when I was not at my best.

Times when frustration,

fear,

and exhaustion

got the better of me.

Sometimes it happened in public.

I snapped.

I raised my voice.

I walked ahead

because I had reached the limit

of what I could handle in that moment.

And sometimes,

someone noticed.

A stranger's scowl.

A remark.

A look that told me

they thought I should be doing better.

Those moments lasted seconds.

But I carried some of them

for years.

Their judgment became my own.

Maybe they were right.

Maybe I should have been more patient.

Kinder.

Better.

There was another part

that weighed on me too.

My children were watching.

They saw those moments.

Sometimes my frustration

was even directed at them.

That was harder.

I didn't want to treat them with anything but love.

I didn't want those moments

to become part of how they remembered me.

But with time,

I've come to understand something.

Unlike the strangers.

My children didn't see

only those moments.

They saw the rest too.

They saw me get out of bed

and drive across town

when Grandma was scared or confused

and needed me.

They went with us

to appointments.

To grocery stores.

To get her nails done.

They watched me show up again

and again.

They saw me care for her

even when she didn't know who I was.

They saw me lose my patience.

And they saw me come back.

Apologize.

Try again.

I'm grateful for that now.

Because they didn't see perfection.

They saw humanity.

They saw that sometimes

we can only take so much.

And sometimes

we can give more

than we ever knew we had.

They saw that we can get it wrong

and still come back with love.

That we can love someone imperfectly

and still be completely devoted to them.

I think about those strangers differently now too.

They saw a few seconds.

They couldn't have known

everything I was carrying

when they added a little more weight.

So when I see someone struggling now,

I try to remember that.

Maybe the kindest thing

isn't to decide what their worst moment

says about them.

Maybe it's simply

to let the moment pass.

Or, if I can,

to offer a little kindness instead.

Because there were days

when a hand on my shoulder

and a quiet...

“Hang in there.

Tomorrow can be a better day.”

would have weighed

so much less.

May you notice a quiet moment of your own today.

🌿WGG